In mediation, both parties (and their lawyers if they wish) meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, who help them work out their differences by agreement.

Because everyone is present, information and offers can be exchanged quickly and efficiently. An impartial mediator helps the parties clarify their disputes, determine the needs and interests, consider options for settlement and reach fair agreements. The mediator makes no decisions but simply helps the parties fashion their own agreement. Nationwide figures indicate that 85% of all mediation cases settle without contested court hearings. Thus, you have an excellent chance of resolving issues quickly and inexpensively. Each party pays half of the mediator’s fee unless otherwise agreed.

Anyone with the desire to settle disputes reasonably and at less cost can reach agreement in mediation.

The Procedure

When No Lawyers are Present
Sometimes people begin mediation before they have hired an attorney and perhaps don’t intend to hire a lawyer at all. Or they have lawyers but wish to mediate without them in order to keep expenses down.

In this case, it is most important that the mediator be an experienced family law attorney in order to guide the parties through all of the issues that need to be resolved. The mediator will usually meet with the parties once or several times (depending on how complicated the case is) to help them clarify the issues, gather the necessary information, and reach agreements. Sometimes the mediator may place the parties in separate rooms and speak to them privately (called “caucusing”), if that arrangement is more conducive to settlement. When an agreement is reach, a written memorandum of understanding is prepared.

I urge parties in this situation to each consult with their own lawyer for advice. They may need only an hour or two of that lawyer’s time, but it is important that they have their own counsel to confer with when they aren’t sure what to do about a particular issue and also to review the written memorandum of understanding and prepare a final order or judgment to be sure it is fair, reasonable and in proper legal form. Remember, the mediator is not the attorney representing either party.